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Frank and Fearless Advice

by Jack Hewitt

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1.
SOMEWHERE IN THE YEAR 2047 IN THE PLACE FORMALLY KNOWN AS PARLIAMENT HOUSE *door knocks* G'day intern Larry, how are ya? Oh mr. prime minister Jack just wanted to inform you that opposition leader John Pressuto Jnr. Has a press conference about the PwC working from home disaster, he's gonna blame it on the quote woke AI teacher robots, he will argue that the education ciricculum needs to be uninstalled for all public schools and replaced with 24/7 lie news coverage. I'm just thinking should we watch it? Laughs, larry how long have you been interning for mate, you know by now I don’t need to watch that crap. Take a seat. Ok prime minister Anything else you wanna know? Well actually is a matter of fact there is, prime minister jack, you've been through a lot obviously surviving the great ozpocalyspe with that other bloke, what's his name, rob? *yeah* and you've saved the universe with cautious kieran a couple times now too *haha yeah* I wanted to know what was it like living through the early 20s, just after lockdown and all that cuz I wasn't even born then. Well Larry, let me give you some frank and fearless advice about that very time. Yeah? It was weird as!!!
2.
What's Weird 03:14
you know what’s weird it’s the new normal/ grabbin’ a beer and get pinged into the portal/ Isolation man this shit’ll really bore you/ either way the options stay awful/ so ima stay positive like ya rapid test/ shove it up ya nostril pretend ya having sex/ it’s been a long time since I was at my best/ but I’m not having panic attacks up in the shed/ like 12 years ago being kinda traumatic/ at least now I’m not carrying that baggage/ I’m just fattish, eating bran from the packet/ coles is out of fresh fruit and salad/ it’s a challenge/ to live life under the LNP/ never forget and I will forever be/ putting health first for community/ let it rip dickheads don’t even waste my energy/ you know what’s weird it’s a pandemic/ yet so many governments want us to forget it/ and pretend like it’s a mild disease/ not for immunocompromised and disability/ being used as pawns/ underlying health conditions should not be the cause/ covid is the killer that shows no remourse/ so is the purveyor of ablist discourse/ psduo science, a hopeless optimism/ in the hospital waiting for the doctor’s visit/ health vs the economy is a false dichotomy/ a lockdown improperly with no supports/ so exhaust ed from the talking/ heads I just wrote this verse/ as a soul that search/ es for meaning/ in my four cornered room steadily breathing/
3.
For a bunch of quiet blokes, you never stop complaining/ screaming speak english at the service station/ haters being enabled by media rhetoric/ Australian lamb like sam kekovich/ I reminisce like round the twist on abc/ now it's old pricks scared of athletes taking knees/ Culture war kamakaze like japanese/ journalism in this country declines rapidly/ under rupert and the lap dogs with their cronies/ dishonest people agenda so phoney/ Nine and costello, like mr. geppoto/ news outlets all sing in falsetto/ Ma Ba Da Da Ba Da Da Lies/ Look down on the ghetto/ while they blah blah/ never came from a place where it's hard to survive/ they weaponize, demonise and marginalise/ Quiet Australians STFU You're so annoying STFU Quiet Australians STFU You ruin it for everyone STFU I can't hear myself think America obsessed/ Tryna import unrest/ whinging so much that it's hard to take a breath/ young people's ideas make you cardiac arrest/ wanna drop dead cuz a man in a dress/ this the type of people they want us to elect/ right wing f wits we should all regret/ stir the pot collect a check/ have a sook repeat again/ press release to media/ hahahahaha they eat it up/ it's so easy to play the game/ they think they got the whole public on a ball and chain/ it's nonsense, taken from the US of A/ I ask fuck you wannabe yanks for anyway?/ Go away, go to LA on a holiday/ and never come back mate, that would actually be great/ no talk on policy or what we legislate/ just a bunch of dickheads talking shit to our face/
4.
… Uh, uh, come on, uh It's the same people that complained about lockdown/ Never be in the city call it a ghost town/ Restrictions are over get the memo/ Blokes say take ya mask off I say hell no/ Sticking to me like velcro/ Talking about 5G's from the telco's/ Piss off ya wacker/ Ya mates over there chockin on his vomit like bon scott/ I tell ya what/ It would actually be awesome if you could like actually please fuck off/ I don't wanna hear about your vaccine injury/ Just looking for a good feed to get stuck into me/ Lord of the fries across from fed square/ A fly in my burger, a couple human hairs/ Ugh, sipa coke and gargle/ More expensive than a pie and chips at marvel/ With all this city that we can see Why are you pricks never here with me? (Blacklist) Do you wanna see melbourne with us, do you wanna? Do you wanna live melbourne with us, do you wanna? Do ya wanna? With all this city that we can see You stayed home and watched TV (Blacklist) Do you wanna see melbourne with us, do you wanna? Do you wanna live melbourne with us, do you wanna? Do ya wanna? Everything's open now if you can be stuffed/ go get some grub or "go to the pub"/ Matthew Guy mate that bloke was a dud/ had two cracks at it and still got beat up/ Victoria, that's where I'm from/ And I only hang with dope cats like Geelong/ How many shots? 3 like Serong/ Actually it was 4 sorry I got that wrong/ Albo where's my bivalent/ I need a fresh boost cuz I don't plan on getting it/ I'm so fresh with it like woolies/ catch me on the bus with a dog named sooty/ what's for dessert, cream pudding/ that's dope and after we eat we play footy/ Melbourne no other place you should be/ and if you're cooked stay away from me/ In lockdown I shed a few tears/ especially for the peeps that are no longer here/ while you whinged the whole year you weren't even here/ still complain even now you can "get on the beers"/ You left ages ago got cooked in Queensland/ And I heard you stole your best mates beanbag/ That's crap I heard he needs that/ I hope you do something constructive with this feedback/ get vaxxed and stop dissing Melbourne/ "Get on the beers" Yeah Dan, tell em/ Push the feet to the peddle/ Forget the melbourne renegades I'm a burn city rebel/ With a richmond cap on/ Most locked down city, don't ya know that that's wrong/ Hyberbole from the herald sun/ A free jack hewitt in melbourne son/
5.
Ya ever think to yaself mate? stuff this capitalistic hellspace/ it doesn't make ya feel great/ more to life than making some money/ but if you don't have it then you go hungry/ it's a trap jump like you're a bunji/ wanna watch sports or spend ya cash punting/ I saw ya mate out back he was munting/ had a dodge parma off cheese and onions/ ugh mate that's disgusting/ had a blue hoodie on now it's coloured pumpkin/ I want a brand new world or something/ Cuz this dumb ish makes it hard to function/ I thought I told ya bout my cp g/ I can't really do that physically/ even though I told you 3 times last week/ ya seriously took that tounge in cheek?, dickhead/ I don't want to participate When work is a slog and I get no pay I don't want to participate When the boss is dodgy and the jobs not safe I don't want to participate When it's dog eat dog in the world today I don't want to participate I don't want to participate I haven't worked in six months/ Times I feel like giving up/ Ignore it turn the cricket on/ abandon twit sign up for mastodon/ Can't figure out what the hell is going on?/ ah well, tea time pop the kettle on/ the irons maiden like a heavy metal song/ hard to feel right when there's so much wrong/ Noise in the background where's it coming from?/ I'll have to detach the smoke alarm/ fell off the ladder almost broke my arm/ owe, broke the fall with an open palm/ I hope it's fine I just need to focus on/ flick of the wrist feels kinda broken argh/ that's a false alarm, I should calm the farm/ So I Breathe in breathe out/ that's what I'm talking about, ya dickhead./ Seems every other day we're getting ripped off/ I'll stay grounded alan joyce piss off/ As spaceships with billionaires lift off/ I'll be on the bus listening to hip hop/ capitalist rich dogs guess what/ on my internet mate ya get blocked/ And muted, the mood is amusing/ Say I'm in a bubble but really you're confusing/ me, get off the computer and you will see/ Those hot takes are embarrassing/ What a fallacy/ Here's a clean glass your majesty/ laughing at someone's pain and tragedy/ it's sad, what they do for the money/ opinion pieces to divide the country/ ping that's the sound of a new swing/ rearrange society how we do things/ Dickhead
6.
A Safeguard mechanism Avoiding criticism/ I tell ya what mate, everybody's slim pickens/ A few concussed dogs like liam picken/ sometimes I feel strong sometimes I feel chicken/ whatever pedigree/ Riding down bell street across from the cemetery/ My mind wanders my body feels sedentary/ modern life in the 21st century/ think how the dinosaurs did it/ Or maybe they didn't/ outdated cliches like survival of the fittest/ a dominant discourse for the bloody dickheads/ that never had to survive under any limits/ it's all disadvantage and privilege/ the future sold off for short sighted visions/ times up, what else do ya wanna be/ The jobs don't exist only job factories/ A competitive market/ maybe you should just cark it/ ya use by date about 30 years passed it/ all of these bastards/ been telling us for years that trickle down economics/ is the biggest promise/ since sliced bread mate that's bollocks/ gaslighting everybody to their faces/ ideological cages/ it's painful / where it hurts/ it's a hegemonic curse/ leaving earth for the worst/ deader than dirt/ a silent killer ya can't see it/ the methane gas of strategy/ Making ways for depression,and apathy/ away with the tragedy/ ignoring the reality of what's really happening/ post-modern or past/ You're out on your arse/ Have the courage to fathom/ beyond late stage capitalism imagine/ This is all we've known all our lives/ driving artists to suicide/ something here we can't recognise/ the fear is justified/ as the stakes are much too high/ flood waters multiply/ heatwaves fire as we feel the future is idle/ going psycho in the cycle/ the clicks are mental/ that feeling of hopelessness instrumental/ to how this ideology works so careful/ to break away from consciousness/ you know it's ominous/ as we're lost in it/ holding on with the tightest of grips/ Cyphoning through ya life's juiciest/ create content without consent/ concrete cement hits you in the head/ and when ya dead they do it again/ the more profit made is where it all ends/
7.
I LOVE BAKED BEANS I LOVE BAKED BEANS ON TOAST I LOVE BAKED BEANS ON EGGS I LOVE BAKED BEANS ON ANYTHING I LOVE BAKED BEANS I LOVE BAKED BEANS MIC CHECKA ONE TWO/ WHAT YA GONNA DO?/ NO BAKED BEANS MATE I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU/ I GOTTA MAKE A JAFFLE, MAYBE EVEN TWO/ EVERY MORNING BEFORE I HEADED OFF TO SCHOOL/ COLES OR ALDI/ QUITE PROFOUNDLY/ FELL IN LOVE WITH THE BEANS I'M GLAD THEY FOUND ME/ MIGHT PUT IT ON SCRAMBLED POACHED OR FRIED/ BEANS IN THE MORN, AFTERNOON OR NIGHT/ I LOVE IT LIKE JACOB HOPPER TO THE TIGES/ BAKED BEANS ON MY BIRTHDAY WHAT A SURPRISE/ THAT'S SO NICE, THANKS FOR COMING GUYS/ IT'S THE HAM FLAVOUR BAKED BEANS BY HEINS/ CAN'T WAIT TO GET INTO THIS/ WITH A SIDE OF KOMBUCHA HAVE A SIP/ GOT THE BEANS ON RICE HERE HAVE A BIT/ SO TASTY GOT ME FEELING LIKE A LITTLE KID/ BAKED BEANSING IT/ BAKED BEANS TOMATO, LETTUCE IN A SANDWICH/ COMBO LIKE A SNARE DRUM, HAT AND KICK/ PASS THE DIP, YA KNOW WHAT MAKES IT THICK?/ THE TASTE OF BEANS ON THE END OF MY FAVOURITE CHIP/ THE RECIPE BAKED BEANS IT BETTER BE/ OPEN UP THE CAN WITH BOTH HANDS STEADILY/ EATING BAKED BEANS TILL I'M 70/ 80 90 NO BEANS WILL NEVER BE/ GREW UP ON PLAY SCHOOL AND SPC/ WAY BEFORE DAVID SPEERS WAS ON ABC/ JUST LOOKING FOR THAT JUICY TASTY BEAN/ ONE TIN AT A TIME I KEEP OPENING/ LIKE TOBY GREENE I'MA POKE AND KICK/ FOR THAT EXTRA SAUCY SMOKEY FIX/ BEE BEE Q WHO'S TOAST IS THIS?/ SARDINES AND VEGEMITE HOLY SHIT/ I'M ABOUT MY SUSTAINANCE/ OVERALL PERFORMANCE AND CLUTCHINESS/ YOU'RE ABOUT THE SUSSIEST BLOKE I EVER TALKED TO/ JUST RUDE, AGGRESSIVE AND UNTHOUGHTFUL/ IS THAT A WORD? WOULDA THOUGHT IT WAS/ BAKED BEANS IN MY BRAIN GOING UP MY SCHNOZE/ I LOVE IT CUZ, THE TASTE OF HOMEGROWN/ RICH IN BEANS FOR THE THINGS I DON'T OWN/ WATCH IT GROW, STRAIGHT FROM THE SOIL/ SOFTEN EM UP AND WATCH EM BOIL/ BEANS OF NATURE THERE'S MANY FOR ALL/ BEFORE I COULD WALK TALK I COULD CRAWL/ BEANS WITH ME SINCE I WAS A LITTLEY/ JACK AND THE BEANSTALK QUITE LITR ALLY/ OLD SCHOOL EATING BEANS AT THE TABLE/ BAKED BEANS FOREVER, CLASSIC MEAL STAPLE/
8.
Performative 03:35
Please don't put a label on me, let me just be me/ Respect my privacy and I'll respect yours that's how it's meant to be/ So many behaviours tied to how we explain identity/ Everyone's unique different in life and that's ok with me/ Please don't assume this about me, let me just be free/ Respect my way and I'll respect yours that's how it should be/ So many ideas tied to how we explain complexity/ Everyone's different unique in life and that's ok with me/ I really hate the word enate/ It's Overused and overrate - d/ what are ya sayin'/ I mean the natural world, it ain't so natural/ instead of hating on that maybe just be thankful/ Through the heatwaves and rainfall/ all by digging up the ground for that grey coal/ I mean the same old/ Tired excuses call it brain fog/ doing the same thing to get the whole earth culled/ Stop feeding the toxicity/ You can be a they/them she her him or he/ Livin' in obscurity/ cuz they said you weren't worthy of purity/ That's a furphy/ only in my early 30s and learning/ accepting differences is how you be a better person/ ya might be confused cuz the planet is/ performativity one of many challenges/ It's ok to be different/ really what is it?/ an open minded vision versus silly tradition/ don't know suffering then you shouldn't be dissing/ it's obvious oppression thrives in a competition/ sometimes I just stop and listen/ to the sounds of the park hear the birds whistle/ I watch the clouds depart and it's so healing/ those hateful remarks are so revealing/ a sober feeling/ about the biases we hold/ rather stay silent and untold/ A long a way to go/ shattered by trauma and straight up ignorance/ a willingness for the same even if its killing us/ with the sense get labelled dangerous/ while those performers make us or break us/ status quo lies through the guise of power/ performing every minute of every hour/
9.
Ride the 250 03:23
Ride the 250 Into the city I go Gotta get to class The only one with a mask/ Ride the 250/ Into the cbd/ Swanston st's a tight squeeze/ gotta get to RMIT/ At the back at the bus wearing a mask/ Getting weird looks like the pandemic has passed/ has it really?/ please don't cough near me/ don't wanna get sick I wanna see things clearly/ So I push on passing through clifton hill/ need a drink real quick so I take a swill/ Cost of living is up, big bucks can kill/ RBA interest rates mate what's the deal?/ 10 bucks topped off off my myki card/ still on aus study mate cuz my life is hard/ to punish the poor is quite bizare/ Yet in this country it's par for par/ Robodebt royal commission/ I'm listening on the bus while I'm wishing for justice and prison for those ministers that hate critical thinking/ Stuff ya dickheads let that sink in/ I study hard all week I probably need some sleep/ yet I'm here writing raps and making beats/ I put em in my headphones and press repeat sounds of the city since the days of obese/ capricorn cat when ya tires are flat/ the bus taking me to a place like a throwback/ a head since young but you know that/ the ride gets shaky but always stays in tact/ never mind those tryna argue facts/ tryna bait me into it I won't argue back/ that's boring/ mate I'm snoozing and snoring/ mute button ready ya takes I'm ignoring/ tryna get to class and learn something new/ this is true, what else am I going to do?/ better myself for the city I love/ just cruising on the 250 bus/
10.
The Mall 03:32
I'm hanging out at the bell st mall Just having a ball/ no worries at all/ We're hanging out at the bell st mall/ Just give us a call/ At the bell st mall/ I'm hanging out at the bell st mall feeling 12 feet tall/ No worries at all/ We're hanging out at the bell st mall Just having a ball at the bell st mall/ for the fun times I'm saving it/ I just spent 900 bucks on Ableton/ my cash flow is paper thin/ Egg rolls are the tastiest/ With a coffee to go and a side of chips/ Never tired of this, fresh air watch a solar eclipse/ Mallahang down to west brunswick/ I represent bell like primary school did/ at the post office for that package I missed/ Jake stringer, how did he miss/ at the start of the season I was pretty unfit/ got my beats up plus worked on my lyrics/ bell st walking I pushed my limits/ looking at suits that barely fit us/ while the eagles flew by call em matt pridis/ down the street, is the place that we're chillin/ straight up surviving with the heroes and villians/ It's the multiculturism/ the practice of giving back/ to community that is the spirit/ shop 41 I was volunteering/ props to the ones that keep on listening/ the sounds encapsulate the village/ it's hard this way it's not so easy living/ Like down the road/ in ivanhoe, or eaglemont the upper class toffs/ thumbs up their snott/ meanwhile I'm just like what? live ya life in a stereo type like box/ looking for some pies like mason cox/ hanging with my friends with the musical chops/ It won't stop/ Till I drop and bloody kick the bucket/ when I was younger I was scared of the muppets/ What relevance does that have you might say/ it doesn't I'm at the mall like every day/
11.
POTATO CAKE DISCOURSE Same thing all the time reading line after line/ Put it out online And watch it fry Same thing again on the internet Little crumbs of bread/ frying in my head/ Potato cake or potato scallop?/ Might slag you off in the name of balance/ Steve Price is a drip that's my third bar/ On the greensborough highway driving in my car/ A hot day when I get home I'll need a bath/ Stopped off at the newsagent, headlines bizarre/ Some psychologist worried about/ how kids aren't patriotic enough, ok pal/ turn the page, what do we see now?/ Blah blah blah blah the voice lacks detail/ Ok, the conservative cliché/ Let me grab the age and I'll be on my way/ Chip Le Grand, more like Chip Le Minor/ While The Oz keeps pushing for a war with china/ Somethin' is fatty like ya fish n chip local/ hit a dead end and there's nowhere to go to/ Professional gas lighters/ anti-lockdown freedom fighters/ before the vaccines they wanted to live with the virus/ anti-kindness and pro-violence/ don't disobey king Charles your highness/ What a bunch of burnt potato cakes/ Getting' agro at the tamest things like grace/ for calling out the abuse of children/ pathetic babies writing hitpieces in the newsroom/ What a toxic discourse we have/ Can't even acknowledge the first peoples of this land/ No wonder it's bad making us fat/ like Paul Murray live talking absolute crap/ Just like eating healthy, watch what I watch/ yes I pay for Kayo and I hate that its fox/ addicted to the footy muthafuck murdoch/ feeding us the cakes while he stirs the pot, what a dog/
12.
Tryna be a good bloke I'm just tryna be a good bloke tryna be a good bloke I dunno mate I'm tryna be a good a bloke I'm just tryna help out where I can/ help ya get from A to B without messing up ya plans/ ya know I got a sedan so let's roll/ the suns gold on the coast like I'm mabior choll/ and if you got a headache I got panadol/ I've been this nice since I was 9 years old/ The world's been cold in the 20 2 0's/ god knows that we need some good times to go/ ya need a friend, I won't leave you alone/ a home cooked meal on the kitchen stove/ I'm just tryna be a good bloke just so ya know/ ya grass too long mate I'll give it a mow/ stuff jim's mowing he's a liberal voting troll/ tryna be nice, not to the IPA though/ See a homeless bloke have a 5 dollar note/ let me move that tree branch to the side of the road/ Sometimes I fall into the hate trap/ Beefing too much on twitter mate I gotta escape that/ Hilltop hoods the feeling just chase that/ I reckon that's great advice I should embrace that/ When I'm depressed I can't really fake that/ Uncomfortable eyes and I don't wear contacts/ the world's wack but being good can replace that/ I'm here to give back, I'm not here for payback/ I don't act outta jealousy/ and just like Eric B my therapy is my melody/ I only wanna fight you if it's tekken 3/ I'll set up the controllers and a couple cups of tea/ first few fights I'll even let you beat me/ and sorry for the latency I blame the ps3/ rubbish machine, I shoulda played steam/ be a good bloke and take one for the team/ Times are rough on my mum/ I'm about being a good son and spreading the love/ No drinking and no drugs/ I've been straight edge since the infamous brownie night fudge/ I'm not here to judge/ Just a good plus one/ Can I please squeese through sorry mate parden/ not tryna be number 1 like james harden/ might compliment ya that's a dope pink cardigan/ What kind of fabric is that?/ matter fact bro you know you're wearing a fabulous hat/ So stylish and bloody expressive/ being a good bloke you know that's impressive/ I'm here to not beef and release all the tension/ How are ya mate is my only question/ Good to hear that you and the fam are ok/ If ya need to have a chat reach out anyday/
13.
OzTopia 03:54
Live from the city that s-mac is locked up in/ the grass grows greener where koalas climb the gumtrees/ I wish he gets out, doesn't have to leave the country/ law and order obsessed to the detriment of some kids/ I wish the system wasn't classist and ableist/ locking up poor disabled kids for the sake of it/ I wish a cap on the rich let me take a bit/ vegemite scrolls at the bakery yeah that'd be lit/ I wish he knew was smart and he was proud of it/ instead letting arrogant dickheads talk him out of it/ I wish for more sex and less UTIs/ I wish for more checks and a fresh UBI/ universal basic income you ask why/ I wish I didn’t have to argue with you dumb guys/ take the point no need for the review/ I wish more people on this land had a clue/ OZTOPIA YA KNOW I'M WISHING FOR THAT OZTOPIA SPREAD MY WINGS AND FLY MELBOURNE CITY TONIGHT WE'RE WE LIVE AND DIE/ OZTOPIA YA KNOW I'M WISHING FOR THAT OZTOPIA SPREAD MY WINGS AND FLY AS THE CLOUDS PASS BY/ NAARM CITY FOR LIFE/ I wish for good health and real attention to the climate/ let the yara flow environments stay vibrant/ to the big banana pineapple enlarge it/ put all this alt right rubbish in the garbage/ I wish I could go back in time to the 1990s/ Stop my favourite rappers from getting shot and dying/ I wish that economics didn't play a part/ Society valued a contribution to the arts/ in exs never tear us a part/ I wish the metrics of success wasn't tied to class/ neoliberalism sucks arse/ it's bloody obvious/ all time high inequity is the consequence/ I wish for world leaders actually responsible/ A dream for us who dare to think what's possible/ A future not frought with uncertainties/ Narrm city I wish to believe/
14.
you know what’s weird it’s the new normal/ grabbin’ a beer and get pinged into the portal/ Isolation man this shit’ll really bore you/ either way the options stay awful/ so ima stay positive like ya rapid test/ shove it up ya nostril pretend ya having sex/ it’s been a long time since I was at my best/ but I’m not having panic attacks up in the shed/ like 12 years ago being kinda traumatic/ at least now I’m not carrying that baggage/ I’m just fattish, eating bran from the packet/ coles is out of fresh fruit and salad/ it’s a challenge/ to live life under the LNP/ never forget and I will forever be/ putting health first for community/ let it rip dickheads don’t even waste my energy/ you know what’s weird it’s a pandemic/ yet so many governments want us to forget it/ and pretend like it’s a mild disease/ not for immunocompromised and disability/ being used as pawns/ underlying health conditions should not be the cause/ covid is the killer that shows no remourse/ so is the purveyor of ablist discourse/ psduo science, a hopeless optimism/ in the hospital waiting for the doctor’s visit/ health vs the economy is a false dichotomy/ a lockdown improperly with no supports/ so exhaust ed from the talking/ heads I just wrote this verse/ as a soul that search/ es for meaning/ in my four cornered room steadily breathing/
15.
Innocence 04:00
Innocence Playing free in the sand pit A free spirit when things felt so different Innocent to the structural indifference Innocence Floating free in the ocean Imagination knee deep in thinking Innocent to these fragile conditions sometimes I just don't wanna show/ scroll of the phone like setting fire to petrol/ I let go, summer nights with a wet tea towell/ back in the days I didn't have it all/ I loved rap cds take the package off/ Straight bump those beats so the neighbours heard/ 6 o clock simpsons then neighbours, word/ Can't believe stingray died that one hurt/ Internet forums we used to murk/ textcees online we were nerds/ Downloading from rapidshare and megaupload/ really young then but I felt like an old soul/ if you don't know then you don't know/ Had the long white mic on windows/ XP with a primitive hard drive/ Before I could comprehend the meaning of hard times/ Drowned out by the voices I can barely breath/ Contested ideas about what I need/ A young kid out there planting the seeds/ sausage and mash mint sauce and peas/ Nah mean, a product of station street/ scraped my knees when I tasted defeat/ wide eyed curious and reflective/ insecurity never turned to defensive/ or maybe a couple times I woulda guessed it/ learning in my younger years how to be respectful/ I had a chest fulla anxiousness/ making music helped me to contain it with/ creativeness/ very thankful however strange it is/ missing the innocence of those younger years/ I rejoice in the childlike wonder/ reminiscing on while I re discover/

about

In his first solo album since before the pandemic, Grandmaster Prime Minister Jack Hewitt delivers an assortment of Australian rap flavoured goodies sure to get you boogieing from North Frankston all the way to Melton Railway Station. Jack Hewitt's Frank and Fearless Advice represents his tenth release and the first in his catalog that he has entirely made from scratch by himself in his bedroom. "Well done mate, that is a fantastic effort, good hands!" - Jack's long-term mentor, Ross Lyon.

Frank and Fearless Advice features such long-winded funky tales as "What's Weird?" and "The Mall" which are primed to get you up and about whilst chewing the fat with every last one of your weird workmates. Actively listen as Jack declares that "everything" IS in fact "weird" whilst passionately serenading his favourite dilapidated mall location. Through Jack's advice, take in the bizarre surroundings as the year is 2047 and Larry the intern has some extremely pressing questions to ask future PM commander in chef Jack Hewitt himself concerning the years just "after" the pandemic. On Frank and Fearless Advice Jack Hewitt's voice ages like a fine bowl of Sultana Bran Crunch which sits perfectly once again over funky-jazz inspired boom bap. He is older and wiser now more than he has ever been, much like Phillip Adams on Radio National. Frank and Fearless Advice represents a turning point in Jack's life after some of the hardest years known to humanity. Let ya squiggly hair down, have some fun and tune into the MelBURN renaissance man at his finest.

Vote for Jack in 2024's upcoming Jaffavile by-election and get a free yearly subscription to Malwarezone TM. The world's first computer virus streaming platform "MAL'S YA PAL!".

credits

released January 22, 2024

All tracks written by Jack Hewitt.
All tracks produced by Jack Hewitt.
Backing vocals on "I Love Baked Beans" by Douzey.

Mixed & Mastered by Jack Hewitt @ Lil' Bless Studios, MelBURN.
Presented by Selfish Victorian Entertainment.

This album is dedicated to the memories of Narna, Gran, Renfield & Eimable.

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